First Raiders home game without you. / Amber Milligan (Wife/soulmate) Was it ever hard. I'm so used to sitting there and looking to my side and seeing you there. When the Raiders score a TD, I'm so used to giving each other a high-five or a hug. It did help a little bit that Courtney was there with me...at least I wasn't there alone. She just doesn't love football & the Raiders the way we do. How will I do this? How will I get through the rest of football season, let alone the rest of my life, without you? I couldn't scatter the little bit of your ashes in the Coliseum parking lot like I was planning to. Since the Raiders were playing the Kansas City Chiefs, the game was a sell out. There was a ton of cops & people everywhere. I will bring them with me to a different game and do it then. I'm not even sure if this is what you would want, but I think it is something you would want. Are you proud of me? I drove to Oakland all by myself. Something that I (and probably you) thought I could never do. Of course, if you were still here, I wouldn't need to do that. I hate that I'm forced to grow this way...without you by my side, cheering me on. I know the things that I've been forced to do, are things you wanted me to do when you were alive. Things I'd never try because I relied on you too much. I know I didn't always make you proud, but I'm trying now. I hope you're proud of me. I love you & am still so much in love with you, Earl. I miss you with every part of my soul. Good night, honey.
3 months ago today. / Amber Milligan (Wife/soulmate) Honey, It's hard to believe, it's already been 3 months since you left the Earth. I can honestly say, it's not any easier, in fact, it's worse than the first day. At least then, I had the numbness & shock to help me through. Now, the reality that you're really gone, is starting to break through the shock. When I talked to you before bed last night, I asked you to give your Mom & I signs that you were there at the golf course with us when we get there. We put more flowers in the creek for you. First, we saw three deer near highway 101 in Novato. Then, we saw three more in San Rafael. In the creek, there were three crawdads. As we were leaving, we saw 3 deer run behind the tee on the 9th hole. You loved spotting deer...just the hunter in you, I guess. You fished for crawdads...your favorite bass bait. All in 3's. Today is the the third month you've been gone. Your mom & I know you were with us today. Thank you for the signs. Tomorrow, I will spend my first birthday without you since I was 18 years old. You won't be there to wake me up with a kiss, a hug and you telling me, "I love you, Amber. Happy Birthday.". How will I get through that tomorrow? I just want to pretend it's not my birthday. I don't want to have one, not without you. I don't want to celebrate me being alive, since I have to live without you. I miss you more & more each day. Instead of thinking, "I can't believe he's gone...", I find myself thinking, "How am I going to live without him?". Please Earl, please help me with that. I need more signs, more dreams...please help me live without you. Please make it easier. I love you so much. Goodnight, Earl.
Two months...seems more like an eternity. / Amber Milligan (Wife/soulmate) Earl, you left this Earth for the other side two months ago today. I can't believe it's been that long, yet it seems sometimes like it's been longer. I miss you so much and think of you just about every minute of everyday. Today your Mom, Dad & your sister Donna brought flowers to place in the creek where you were found on the golf course. I'm sure you saw us, though. Chuck & Sasha was there, too. Courtney misses you very much, too. She listens to your music a lot. She feels close to you when she does. I know you're watching over us, so you know how proud she is making me...as I'm sure she is doing for you. Do you feel me when I talk to you before I go to sleep every night? I kiss your picture and plead for you to come to me in a dream again. I could really use a visit from you...it's been a while. I love you so much, Earl. I can't wait for eternity so you can hold me again and I can put my arms around you. Love your 'Baby', Amber
Rest my Raider Brother / Thomas (Raider Fan ) Although I did not know Earl, may he rest in Peace. Earls family will be in my prayers. Rest easy my Raider Brother, we will see you again!
You sound like a great man / Jeff Coulson (Fellow Raider Fan ) Tonight my prayers are going out to your family. I know in my heart that you are now safe in Heaven with God watching your family and making sure they are safe. I never knew you, but you sound like the type of person that I would have had as a good friend. I guess that some day we'll finally meet and we can cheer for the Raiders together in Heaven with all the other Raider fans.
friend/ Selma Flynn (friend) to all earl love ones earl like look a very loving man it hard to loss sameone i lost my son 6-4-05 from a shooting.you should be very proud of earl. i bet he was the best if you need to talk or cry please e-mail me you will be here for you we you hurt we all have the some pain so please my e-mail is mamma-flynn@excite.com
and please visit my son web at www.bobbo.memory-of.com
Our thoughts and prayers are with you / Bengal Dave Woods I just wanted to say that from all of us at cincybengals.com. That we are sorry for your loss. I feel like a part of the nation. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
The Nation will miss you / Jim Mullin (Raider nation family )
I may not have met you in this life time, but will be a pleasure to speak Raider football with you in the next... God be with you and All of the Family Members. from a memeber of the Raider Nation... Your Raider Family.
My condolences. / Dan Magin (Fellow Raider Fan ) I'm a 35 year old dad and husband. It's hard not to shed a tear for your family even though I am a complete stranger. I hope you can find peace in freinds, family and the Raider Nation.
Im So Sorry! / Kristen Loraine (Passer-by) Amber my name is Kristen I am Suzanne's middle daughter. I just want to say thank you for signing my Dad's Memorial site. It means alot to me and my family. I am so sorry for your loss! It is a very hard thing to go through and even though I didnt know your husband and I dont really know you I bet you guys are great people. Its so sad to think how many people lose the ones they love. I am sorry that a kind person like yourself lost a person that probably meant the world to you. I know your husband will never be forgotten and will be remembered always... Just like my dad! Like I said before I am very sorry for your loss and I hope things get better for you and your family!
Earl, I'm having a bad day today..I need you. / Amber Milligan (wife)
I want to go out to breakfast with you again tomorrow morning, just like we did almost every Saturday morning. I want you to hold me so I'll feel safe again. I want you to tease our daughter until she gets frustrated and says, "GOD, Dad!! Knock it off!!". I want you to wrestle in the floor with the dog again. I want you to go fishing with your Dad again. I want you to be able to eat some of your Mom's fry bread again. I want you to be able to tell me it's all going to be OK again. I want to fix a normal dinner everynight again. I want to be able to listen to the radio or watch TV without sensoring what I hear or see or cry so damn much again. I want to look forward to weekends again. I want to bring you a cold drink after you've worked in the yard again, instead, it's me doing the yard work and there's no one there to bring me a drink. I want to stop being around all these people, yet feeling so alone. I want to look into your beautiful brown eyes again.
If only I could have had the pleasure of meeting you. / Kenny Roell (TheFinFanMan) If only I could have had the pleasure of meeting you and Amber in person.
Earl, you don't know me from adam, but I have been thinking about you and your family for the past several weeks.
I'm not even sure it's my place to post a message here.
I never met you......but I wish I had.
We love you Raidermama.
My baby brother / Helen Maldonado (Sister) My dearest little brother, our little "marble head", it's still unbelievable that you are gone from our circle here on earth. You, Duane, Eric and I made a perfect circle with the four directions. I truly feel that a direction is gone, a hole has been made in our circle. I know in my heart that the circle continues in our next life, eternally together, but I did not believe you would be the first to go to the other side. I love you and my life has been changed forever. Miss you little bro, I pray it gets less painful, but I doubt it. Love, Helen
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