I'm really sorry for your lost. I have been gone from Rohnert Park for 4 years. The last time I seen you was at roger wilco. In case you don't remeber I use to live next door to Earl on McBride lane Coddingtown Apt. Please give my strenght to his family to make thought the days and nights.
all my love
tonya
Condolences/ Francine Conner (Miner( (friend of Amber ) I was a friend of Amber's in high school when she met Earl. I remember it was love at first sight for Amber and it didn't take Earl long after to follow. I am truly sorry for Amber and Courtney's loss and give my condolences from the bottom of my heart.
Fran
My thoughts and prayers are with you / Mischelle Andrade (Friend of Amber's ) I only had met Earl a few times way back when he and Amber first started dating. But I knew of him what maybe 2 or 3 years prior. She was soo in love with him. I remember Amber. All she could talk about was Earl. There was one day he was working at a burger place. Can not think of the name of where it was and we had to stop by there just so she could see him. What she and Earl had was something most of us wait our whole lives for. I am soo sorry for your loss Amber and Courtney. I will forever keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless.
A smile that could light the room and a laugh that was so contageous! / Deanna Robertson (Classmate) One look at these pictures and it brings me right back to my school days with Earl! I can accually hear him laughing..and that million dollar smile was like no other! As I sit hear with tears rolling down my face, looking at all the love and family and friendship he had created around his life, I am not surprised. I too received carnations from Earl every carnation day that came around. Only to be reminded by EARL that he was a good friend and was always there for us girls! How many of us were there?? That was just the kind of "friendly" and "caring" he was to us. Call him a big brother, call him a body guard or just call him Earl!! I am very sad for your families loss Earl, but knowing you, I know you're watching over them the way you did us. My heart is heavy and you will be missed by all that knew you! What a beautiful memory you have left with us with and a crystal clear understanding of what a good man really is!!!!!
Thinking of you / Jacqui Salyer (sister-in-law) Earl, A year ago this month you were taken from my sister Amber and my niece Courtney. You've been on my mind a lot this month. I think about how you and Amber were so cute together when you were dating, when you got married and raising Courtney. You always had the sweetest, warmest smile, and such a big heart. Jjust looking at you and Amber you could tell that you to were in it for a lifetime. Not very many people find that kind of love like you and Amber and I'm so sorry it was taken from you and Amber. Don, I, and the kids still talk about you and how we wish we would have gotten together more often and shared good times together. You will always be in our thoughts and prayers and we love Amber, Courtney and you forever. Jacqui
A year ago today... / Amber Milligan (Wife) ...my life was forever changed and turned upside down. Earl, I'm trying hard to carry on and be someone that you're proud of. I miss you so much. You were such a big part of my life, it's so hard to let go. I realize now that I don't have to let that go. You will always be with me, no matter what. I love you, Honey.
condolences/ Allison Creager (Classmate) Amber and Coutrney, I just wanted to express my condolences to you both. I went to high school with Earl and just happened to be on classmates.com and learned of Earls death. Although I didn't know hime well at all, I do remember that he was a kind and sesitive person. I hope the future brings you both peace. Take care, Allison
Remembering you / Monica Kangas (Friend) Earl, I just tried to contact you on classmates.com. I am shocked and deeply saddened to find out you are no longer here. Wow, Amber seems to be carrying on with all the duties though. (She even made time to quickly answer my email to you!) It's been years since we've been in touch; I'd forgotten your birthday date...but definately not you. I read your memorial site only to be reminded that your birthday is the same day as my honey's- urr humm, another hugh Raider fan. (Great beings were created on that day!) I shall remember from this point forward. I shall always remember your kindness...including the little extras like sending Shelly and I (and Dee?) a carnation on carnation day...okay so that was probably around 20 years ago...must have left an impression, huh, I still remember. Take care Earl- by reading your site I see you have come by dream to visit your family. I know you will do what you can to take care of them from where you are.You have joined our other loved ones who have gone before us. No person is ever truly alone.Those who live no more, Whom we loved,Echo still within our thoughts, Our words, our hearts.And what they did And who they were Becomes a part of all that we are, Forever.
6 months ago today... / Amber Milligan (Wife) ...you left the house for work for the last time. We didn't know it would be the last time. If I had known, I would have dragged you back into bed, held onto you and never let you go. I miss you so much, Earl. Even though six months have passed, this is harder than the first day after I found out you were gone. Now, I've got to try and do Christmas for Courtney. We should be sneaking off to the mall to pick out gifts for our daughter. Instead, I'm hiding out in the house and doing my shopping on the internet, because I can't bear to go to the mall. There's too many happy people, happy music & decorations. The last thing I am is happy. I love you so much, Earl. I need you to come to me in my dreams, I need signs from you. Please. I love you Earl.
I have learned much from the Milligan family / Brent Hals (Fellow football fan ) I have always enjoyed talking football with Amber. She spoke highly of her husband and daughter over the years, but only now do I understand why she was such a proud wife and mother.
These last few months I have seen a strength from her that I have not seen before. And after reading this website I can see that she is even stronger than I imagined. I sure hope that other widows that Amber comes in contact with for the rest of her long life can draw from her emotions and passions.
I wish I would have met Earl. I hope someday to meet Amber's daughter. And I am a better person for knowing Amber.
Happy anniversary, Earl. / Amber Milligan (Wife)
Today is the 14th of October, 2005. It is our anniversary today. 16 years ago today, I walked down the aisle on my father’s arm. I was barely 20 years old, 4 ½ months pregnant & scared. As soon as I saw you and the look of complete love in your eyes, I stopped being scared. I became excited. Excited that I was about to become your wife. Excited that we were going to have this perfect little family together. I was so happy that I was going to get to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m so in love with you, it made me overjoyed that we were together.Through the years, there were times we annoyed each other. I used to get so irritated that I’d have to put the toilet seat back down. You used to leave your balled up socks in the living room and bedroom floors. You would track grass into the house after mowing the lawn. I’d give ANYTHING to be able to clean your hair out of the sink after you shaved, again.You would get annoyed at me for being stubborn sometimes. I irritated you because I’d always get the thing behind the first thing on the shelf at the store. It was just something I’ve always done. But even after all of that, we still loved each other so much. We loved being together. Raiders games were one of our favorites. I miss having you by my side there. Most of the time, we’d just stay at home & watch TV. Not exciting to most folks, but it was fine with us. After my unstable childhood, having a home, a child and a man I loved and that loved me, was all I ever needed. You have told me many times, you feel the same. I miss watching TV with you. You’d reach over and take my hand and we’d sit and hold hands for a long time. I miss just sitting in our hot tub with you. We would sit and look at the stars and talk. I can’t bear to go into that hot tub now. It just wouldn’t be the same without you. I miss the little things most of all. There’s no one there to scratch my back for me now. You used to grab my behind when you’d walk by to let me know you still desired me. There’s no more of that. I can’t even cook dinner, because I think you’ll be home at 5 o’clock to eat it with us. The thing I miss the most is looking into your beautiful brown eyes and telling you I love you. Now, I have to do it to a photograph or an empty room.Remember about a month and a half before you died? I told you that you were home to me & that no matter where we lived, if we had each other, it was home. I miss our old life so much. I miss having you by my side to help me raise our daughter. I miss holding you, I miss not waking up next to you. I mourn the fact that we didn’t get more time together. We had 18 years together, 15 years of marriage together. That is a lot more some people get, but I know we were cheated. We had more life to live together. I wasn’t ready to be forced to live without you. Happy anniversary, Earl. I love you and my soul misses you.
Please don't mourn for me I'm still here, though you don't see I'm right by your side each night and day And within your heart I long to stay My body is gone but I'm always near I'm everything you feel, see or hear My spirit is free, but I'll never depart As long as you keep me alive in your heart I'll never wander out of your sight I'm the brightest star on a summer night I'll never be beyond your reach I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around And the pure white snow that blankets the ground I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond The clear cool water in a quiet pond I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in spring The first warm raindrop that April will bring I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine And you'll see that the face in the moon is mine When you start thinking there's no one to love you You can talk to me through the Lord above you I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees And you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep I'm the smile you see on a baby's face Just look for me, I'm everyplace...
I can't believe it's been 4 months. / Amber Milligan (Wife/Soulmate/Best Friend ) It's really starting to sink in that you're not on a hunting trip...you're really gone. You will never walk through our front door ever again. The love we shared and the good times don't really bring me comfort, at least, not yet. When I think about them, sometimes I can smile. More often than not, I just cry. It pisses me off that you will never, physically, be a part of my life ever again. It makes me sad that I no longer get to touch your stubbly cheek ever again. I'm angry that you can't reach around the back of me and nuzzle my neck and inhale a deep smell of my hair. It breaks my heart that I can't look you in the eyes and tell you I love you and hear you tell me you love me back. Everyone says I should treasure & be thankful for all of those memories. Don't get me wrong, I am. But right now, I'm more heartbroken more than anything. I'm so sad & hurt that I'll never have that again. What we had was so special. I was so happy. We had it all. Now my life is a mere distant memory of what it was. My life has no purpose without you, Earl. I am just existing. I miss you so much, I wonder if I can go on. If it weren't for Courtney, I wouldn't care if a bus ran me over tomorrow. At least I could be with you again. No one understands how meaningless my life is now. I feel so lost and alone. You were my everything, the love of my life. Will these memories ever bring me comfort? I hope one day they will, but for now, all I can do is think about what I don't have anymore. It hurts so bad. Please Earl, please give me signs that you're with me. I need you so much. I know you're in a wonderful place, but I need you to help me too. Good night, Earl, I love you & miss you. My soul misses you.
The World Lost a Great Person / Ben Carranco (Fellow Raider Fan ) From the website and photos it has become obvious the world lost a great person and family man. My condolences to Earl's family and friends. Rest in Peace my Raider Brother.
I want the world to know what a great husband and father you were... / Amber Milligan (Wife/soulmate/bestfr----iend) ...for me to try and tell everybody you were also a great son, brother, uncle, cousin, friend or colleague, I can't. That's not up to me, it's up to them and I hope they tell the world, too. In May of 1985, I spotted the most devestatingly beautiful boy I had ever seen in my life. I was riding my bike in the apartment complex on McBride Lane. You gave me this look that was so intense, so sensual...it scared me. I almost wrecked my 10 speed...I was only 15...I had never experienced that before. I crushed on you for the next few years and then finally, in June of 1988, you asked me out. I was so excited, elated...really. It was the moment I had been waiting for for the past 3 years. When you brought me home after that first date, you kissed me goodnight. It was a kiss I'll remember for the rest of my life. I felt it go through me like a bolt of lightning. 15 minutes later, I nearly floated upstairs to mine & my mom's apartment. I remember where we were when we first declared our love for each other. Another thrill I'll never forget. I remember the night you proposed to me. We were up on the hill overlooking Santa Rosa near Fountain Grove. That spot is probably someone's livingroom in a multi-million dollar home, now. You got down on one knee and asked me. You told me later you weren't planning on doing it, but it was the one year anniversary of our first date...and we already knew we were meant to be together. I remember on our wedding day, seeing you waiting for me to walk down the aisle. You had tears in your eyes. You had such a look of total and complete love for me in those eyes...those beautiful brown eyes. I remember being about 6 months pregnant with Courtney and accompanying you on your interview in Mill Valley to be a golf course greenskeeper. We got lost and stopped at the police department and asked for directions to city hall. I stayed out in the Isuzu and waited, then we went and had lunch afterwards. You were so proud, you landed a city government job! You loved your job, loved working outdoors. You were young, but you proved to anyone that ever had a doubt about your capabilities, wrong. You were always such a hard worker, never slacked. That is one of the qualities I love about you. I remember the day Courtney was born. Except for grabbing a bite to eat, you stayed with me & helped me through that 20 hour labor. I would have never been able to make it through such a long labor without you. You were so proud. Courtney misses you a lot. Some days, she'll sit here on the computer and listen to your old CD's. Our daughter, that seemed to only love alternative music & punk rock, was listening to Dr. Dre & NWA the other day! She really misses having you around for advice, to make her laugh. I try, but this is so hard, having to raise her without each other to lean on, Earl. I've been to the spot where you were found a few times. If you can choose a place on Earth where you can die, I can guarantee you, a lot of people would probably pick this place. It is surrounded by redwood trees. The creek has a small waterfall leading into it, you can see crawdads and bass in the water, vegetation everywhere. Just very beautiful & peaceful. We weretruly soulmates & each other's best friends. We didn't have a lot of friends outside of our marriage and did almost everything together. I feel so lost and alone. Earl You were such big part of who I am. Together, we were 'Amber & Earl'. I don't know how to be just 'Amber'. I'm so scared and I hate having to raise our daughter without you. We had such big plans for the future, we were going to build our dream custom home and buy an RV to travel in so we wouldn't have to board our spoiled dog & 2 cats.We had such a deep connection, on so many levels. We would often say the same exact thing at the same exact time. We would often say to each other, "It's scary how much we thing alike.". You were a terrific husband and an even better father. I never had to worry about you cheatingyou told methat you could never do that to me, you could never put someone you loved so much, through something like that. You were so clever and wise. You always had a solution to just about every problem. You were a hard worker, a kind person, and just a joy to be around.You were the most sensitive tough guy I've ever met. I've only seen you cry twice, our wedding day & the day our daughter was born, but if you ever did anything to hurt me, Courtney or another family member or friend, look out! You were so fiercely loyal. You always took care of my needs, physically & emotionally. You were always thinking of others, never selfish. "I would rather have 30 minutes of something wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special." -that about sums it up for me. Thank you, Earl, for being such a great husband, father, soulmate & best friend. I can't wait for eternity to come so we can be together again...I love you.
My families thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Sincerely, a raiderfans.net member.
From a Raider Fan / R8ER760 (None) I did not know you but I have had the pleasure of conversing with your wife via RAIDER message boards. I can feel the love your family had for you by reading the massages on this site. You must have been a fine person, father, husband, and RAIDER FAN. I only hope your family will be ok and that you will continue to visit your daughter in her dreams. To the family, our prayers are with you aways.
Daddy,I want you to come home. / Courtney Milligan (Daughter) Daddy,we had a great fathers day celebration for you. I love you so much. I miss you so much. but someday I'll be with you again and I'll tell you everything. You came to me last night in a dream. Everything was normal.You came home at exactly five o'clock and we went to the mall and came home and watched a movie. And when I went to bed you said " I love you, see you tomorrow morning. " Well, you did. and I was so glad to see you. Kobe and I want you to just come home from work and everything be normal again. I love you daddy.
One month ago today, a hole was torn in my heart, never to be healed. / Amber Milligan (Wife) I go on, knowing I will be with you, back in your arms again someday. I also go on, for our daughter...she inspires me so much, thank you for the wonderful gift of our little girl. I know you wouldn't want us to be sad, but I can't help it, I miss you so much. You were the only one who made me feel loved, special & safe. Me, Courtney, your mom and your sister went to the golf course today. On this day, a month to the day that you left us, we wanted to be close to where you spent your last moments on this earth. We all placed flowers in the creek where you were found. I put in those lavender colored roses that we picked out at Home Depot together and you planted. They are so beautiful, just like you, Earl. Helen sang beautiful prayer songs and we all talked to you, in our own way. I'm know you saw and heard us. Please also know we are all thinking about you, love you & miss you.
I miss you, babe. / Amber Milligan (wife) Not a single moment goes by when I don't think about you. You were my best friend, my safety, my strength, my lover, my soulmate. I could never love any man as much as I love you. You were the best husband a woman could ask for. You made me feel so special, so loved, so beautiful. I love the way me, you and Courtney had so much fun together. It was breaking my heart realizing you wouldn't be there to see our little girl graduate from high school, walk her down the aisle at her wedding or get to hold our grandchildren. Then I realized that wasn't true...you will be there are you are here with Courtney & I, watching over us right now. Until we are together again, honey....
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